Because My Morning Wasn't Crazy Enough

My afternoon was going swimmingly. Everything was quiet and I had just finished checking the mail, with Gyp tagging along on his leash.

Then the phone started ringing right as I reached the porch and in my scurry to get it I tied the dog to the porch real quick, accidentally dropped all the mail, and wouldn't you know it? There was no one at the other end of the line. -_- I had just turned around to fix the mess outside when I noticed a Sheriff's car sloooooooowly rolling past my house, then backing up and parking in the driveway. 

It was one of those moments where you feel so panicked that you have no idea what on earth to do. This was *perfect*. My puppy is tied up on the front porch, my barn is a complete mess after today's adventure, there's mail scattered on the porch, I'm still wearing my dirty muck boots... Oh please don't let that phone ring again!!

In ten seconds flat, I scurried out of my boots, grabbed the fallen mail, scooped up my dog and zoomed inside. I had no idea why the sheriff was here, and I knew I had done nothing wrong, but I think everyone still feels intimidation when facing someone in law enforcement. I didn't have time to put Gyp in the backyard, so I desperately hissed at my 12 year old brother to "deal with the dog", and then tried to calm my pounding heart before opening the door for the man who was walking up the path.

Let me just say this: I. Was. Terrified. I was alone, and there was no one here to bolster my confidence. So I had to do it myself. At that moment, I would have rather faced a thunder storm than the sheriff (that's saying something!)

The sheriff explained that someone reported me and my small farm, saying that my cow looked too thin; so he was here to decide a verdict on the situation. I drooped inwardly, knowing that I had this coming. Yes, my poor Ellie is THIN! She needs to gain at least 100 lbs.! But would the sheriff believe me that I had only gotten her a couple weeks ago and that it wasn't my fault for her condition? I see a lot of progress in Ellie's condition. She's beginning to sleek out and her spine doesn't protrude so sharply anymore. But to everyone else in the world who didn't see her on day #1, she looks like a horrible neglect case. It didn't help matters that she had just aborted that fetus this morning and now her rear end was swollen and she had dried blood on her back legs. *smacks forehead*

Trying not to let my voice quaver with the fear I felt, I led the sheriff out to the pasture where Ellie was chewing her cud. He looked at her, asked questions, took a tour around the whole place, checked my grain, checked my hay, petted the goats, and asked more questions. I have to say, the goats were amazing. All nine of them came up to the fence, looking for scratches and rubs; their sleek coats gleaming in the sunshine, and slightly-chubby bodies bumping against each other. They were my ambassadors today. Showing that Ellie is the exception here and not the rule, where condition is concerned. Jupiter took a special liking to the Sheriff and wouldn't leave him alone; thankfully he didn't seem to mind the new adoring fan.

He thanked me for my time and began to walk out the barn. I didn't know his verdict just yet and was scared that my cow was too thin after all and he would have something done, like have her confiscated. We reached the barn door and he allayed my fears by saying I had nothing to worry about. My farm and my animals all looked good to him and he was closing the case. I was so relieved that I felt limp. I don't even remember walking back to the house.

So now I have one very, very specific goal: Put some weight on that cow ASAP!!