Healing From Burnout

 

  There is a legitimate ailment that affects all people, no matter your age, experience, social status, or how careful you are. There's no bottle of pills to cure it. Doctors and herbalists can't help you with it. You're alone, for the most part. And only you can figure out how to fix it.

  This mystery disease is known as "Burnout". And it is a very, very serious thing. You never know when it will strike, or how long the healing process will be. It simply settles on your shoulders one day, like a damp, gloomy cloak; stealing the joy from the things that used to light you up, stealing the energy from your very bones, stealing the point to life. There it will stay; that ill-fitting, invisible piece of cloth that enshrouds you in mediocrity and depression.

 Don't worry though. There's a light at the end of the tunnel. There's a cure for it. It will take time, and effort, and gentleness. But you can beat it. Though it hangs on with the stubbornness of a tick, you can shake it and come out stronger. I'm positive about this. I'm positive, because even after wearing my cloak of gloom for three years, I am finally healing from it.

  When I left Oregon three years ago, I knew I was burnt-out from farming. The years of struggling so freaking hard to make the farm work, while living with family who didn't want it to work, took its toll. I thought perhaps a change of scenery would help, so I moved to Missouri. But that didn't help. The joy of working with plants and animals was gone. I felt tired and drained. There was no joy in any part of my life; not in the beautiful area that I lived in, not in being married to be best man on earth, not in welcoming our firstborn son, not in starting up a farm of our own... Life was dim. I slept a lot. I cried a lot. I began dabbling heavily in paganism and self harming. I was burnt out and knew it. I also knew that I wanted to heal. I just didn't know how.

  It took a very abrupt piece of news to start the healing process. A piece of news that took me 4 months to come to terms with, and one that ultimately changed me for the better.

  And the news was? 

  Well, it came in the form of a positive pregnancy test.

 Yes folks, I am pregnant with Kiddo #2. *insert bombshell dropping*

 This was very much a shock to Hubby and I, as we were hoping to wait a year or two before adding to the family size. Being the superman that he is though, it only took him about three days to get used to the idea and then become completely ecstatic over the news. Me? Not happy. Not. Happy. I hadn't even figured out how to be a mom for the first one! And we were just starting the farm! How on earth was I supposed to do everything while pregnant and then do it with a newborn!?

 So there was more sleeping. And more crying. And more being depressed.

 And then I'd had enough. I didn't know what I was going to do, but by George I was going to start fixing these problems. I wanted to be excited about this baby. I wanted to have tears of joy when I finally met this new little one; not have tears of dread like last time.

  It took four months, but I can now say with a smile that I'm on the firm road to recovery. It took time, and effort, and gentleness. It was baby steps of fixing my faith in God through reading just one small chapter of the Bible each day and finally stepping foot inside a church again. It was learning to love being a mother through a special book gifted by my mom and taking delight in my chubby, smiling son. It was realizing that making this house a home and being cheerful for my husband gives far greater rewards than globe trotting to Bali and Aruba ever would. It was accepting the gift of a new child. 

 And now it is learning to love farming again.

 Like all the other areas in my life that needed fixing, it's taking time and gentleness to heal from this major burnout. I'm taking tiny steps back into finding the joy of it. It started out with things like buying a couple books from Amazon ('Woman-Powered Farm', and 'Made From Scratch'), and going to the feed store to simply look at chicks and flip through magazines. Then it went to slowing barn chores down and taking the time to enjoy the veal calves that we've raised over the summer (and will be butchering in 4 weeks!). Then it was pulling the spinning wheel out and making yarn... Then it was ordering 2 dozen Sapphire chicks (Sapphires are a F1 cross between a male Cream Legbar and a female White Leghorn.). And then I felt ready for the next big step: Three Ossabaw pigs, and a working dog. 

  These tiny steps weren't rushed. I waited until I was champing at the bit to do each one. I wanted to feel the joy again! I wanted to remember how fun it was at the beginning to simply hold a fluffy chick in the palm of my hand. Or to outfox a crafty calf or pig. Or wake up in the morning feeling excited at what might happen. I'm getting there. I can feel it. I don't have my pigs or my dog yet; but they're coming in the next week or two. And I am so, so excited. Life has joy again. Life has purpose. 

 And I am happy.

  If you're feeling burnt-out, my friend, take heart. You can conquer it. I know you can. Focus on finding the joy. Do something tiny that brings a smile. And do it every day. The gloom doesn't last forever. Joy will always win.

Teaser. Coming Soon To Schnuck's & Whole Foods...

Well now, what could this possibly be!? I will leave you to wonder for now...

E-Course Teaser! Registration Opening Soon!

   Look at what's about to be launched!! I am beyond excited to be able to share this opportunity with you, and think it will be an absolute blast! So if you're ready to have a successful and profitable small farm, then this is for you! If you're ready to take your existing farm enterprises to the next level, then this is for you! If you're just starting out, and still not sure what you should sell in your area, then this is for you! If you want to increase your business skills, while being able to interact with a group of like-minded folks, then THIS IS FOR YOU!

  Web link to the e-course will be going live in the next day or two, and we will be celebrating the Early Bird Registration with a giveaway! So don't get too far off!

Video: The Economics of Draft Horses

  I despaired of ever getting a post published today, due to our internet suddenly going on the fritz, but lo and behold! At 10:30pm, I'm finally getting *just* enough to put up Monday's educational movie. Sorry it's taken me so long, guys. I've been trying all day.

 Anyway! Look at this amazing video that I found! It's all about the economics of keeping draft horses, and what cases they're worth keeping, versus keeping a tractor. It's super detailed, and is definitely made with beginners in mind. Topics cover choosing a draft horse, building shelter for them, how many acres you might need for a pair, repairing equipment, chores to do when you get your first team, and more. 

  Watching this video reminded me just how much I'm impressed by draft animals and those who work with them. And it also reminded me that this is a farming venture that I am no longer interested in pursuing. *GASP!* I know, I know; for a long, long time I always dreamed of getting a draft horse (or a pair). Shucks, I have quite a few posts about that longing! But in the past few years, I've done a lot of researching and soul searching, and I've come to the decision that I will stick to tractors (much to my husband's relief). Now, if you feel led to use draft horses, then by all means do it! And hey, send me pictures, okay? I'd LOVE to see your beautiful animals doing what they do best! Drafts definitely have a place in this world. As do tractors. And for the specific area that my husband and I are in, tractors are proving to be the most economic/wise choice for us. Plus, I admit that due to some equine-related accidents that have happened over the last two years, my confidence around horses has waned to a degree that would make horse keeping dangerous for me. Confidence is a huge key to keeping horses, and right now... I have none. I'm not out-and-out scared of horses, but I no longer have a desire to own one at present. Maybe someday I'll get over that... I would however, still love to raise a team of oxen; but I'd sell them once they reached maturity, rather than keep them. Again, because tractors are cheaper for us to keep.

  But nevertheless, I will always be in awe of a well trained team of horses. I'll always feel that slight twinge that *maybe* they're something I could do, someday. And I'll always want to pet the Budweiser Clydesdales that live nearby... 

Hoop House Considerations - Muddy Fingers Farm

 This handy dandy video caught my attention this morning, and I was quite impressed with the detailed info! Definitely had some "ah ha!" moments throughout it. The Man and I will be putting up a large hoop house on the farm when spring rolls around (for our aquaponics enterprise), and I do believe this video has answered the last couple of questions we had...

P.S. To those of you who have subscribed to the weekly newsletters... You may have noticed that you didn't get one yesterday! Bad, bad Caity... Shame on me. Actually, the reason behind that is that I've been visiting a friend at the hospital, and thus didn't have time this weekend to write up the newsletter. This is also why there was no Saturday "Pinterest Link Up". My apologies to you all! Things should go back to normal now.

Wanted: Your Thinking Cap!

 

 Hey guys, I need a wee bit of help in the thinking department; care to give me a hand? I'm working on a project, and need some unique enterprise ideas that can be done on a small farm (example: quail, chevre cheese truffles, barn dances, etc.). I've already got quite a few of these ideas, but as I near the end of my needed quota, it's starting to get harder to think up these creative enterprises!

 So here's where you come in: What's the most unusual/creative business you've heard of someone implementing on their farm? Put your answer in the comments below!

 And to sweeten the deal, here's what I'll do: If I get enough answers that I haven't used yet, I'll give you guys a sneak peek on what the project is!

Come, Walk With Me

Yesterday evening was such a beautiful, peaceful time that I couldn't resist getting some video footage of it all, since you couldn't be here to take a walk with me. This being deer season, I couldn't stray far, or go into any of the pastures, but here's at least a clip to show you a little bit of the family farm. 

Price Slash on Consultations!

  If I may, I would like to direct y'all's attention to the top of this blog real quick... Up on the top bar is a button that says "consultation services". If you've never clicked on it before, I would invite you to do so now (and why haven't you clicked on it before now!?!?!?!? Just kidding...). If you already know what's there, well, go there anyway. Refresh that memory.

 

  Point of interest today is that I slashed the price of the consultation services by 50%. Kaboom! No particular reason for it, other than maybe hoping I can scare up some spare cash (which will most likely NOT be used to try and win a goat farm. Promise. Sort of. It's like a 78% chance that I won't. But I might use it to save up for a cow, because I want one. But that's another story.).

  Ten bucks is a good price for a huge email that probably has more information than you really needed. Seriously, folks. I talk too much when it comes to agriculture...

Write An Essay,Win A Goat Farm

  I'm not really sure what my logic is behind sharing this, seeing as it will reduce my chance of winning if I actually enter... But nonetheless I am sharing anyway.

   Folks, I have just learned that you can win a $350,000 goat farm in Alabama, for the price of $150 and the best essay you done ever wrote. I kid you not. The writer in me really, really, really wants to enter. I told my husband that if I find a spare $150 before the deadline, then I just might have to try it. Hey, I only live 6 hours away from the place, so it wouldn't be that bad of a move. LOL. 

  Here's the link with the rules, particulars, and pictures (their milk parlor and creamery is to die for! Eeek! The horned Saanens are kinda' giving me a raised eyebrow, but hey... Whatever floats your goat.) CLICK HERE FOR LINK.

Your Argument Is Invalid

  I am not a fan of chickens. I must admit this. Sure, I like some of the fighting breeds, but on the whole, I don't care for chickens. However, I could be very easily convinced to keep chickens, if I had a coop that looked like the TARDIS. Observe:

It is a TARDIS chicken coop. Your argument is invalid. 

P.S. The source of this image, plus building directions can be found HERE.

One Sticking Point

  Okay so I really am working on maturing and getting rid of pride issues in my life, but I have to admit that I do have one sticking point that I don't think I will ever come to terms with: Tractor color.

 Yes, it does matter.

 The green tractors are the best.

 Not the blue. Not the red. Not the Orange. 

 Fellow country folk will agree with me that this is most definitely an issue not to be taken lightly in life. The color of your tractor is a very serious subject. Right up there with what kind of truck you drive.

 It's gotta' be a Deere, folks... Go with the green tractors.

(P.S. This post is written 75% tongue-in-cheek. I'm mostly just being ornery. But I do love the green tractors!)

Veal: The "Bad" Word In Agriculture

Poppy. My Jersey calf from 2008!

 One thing I've learned over these few years of being in the farming world is that if you want to ruffle the average consumer's feathers, mention veal. More often than not this word brings on some expression of horror. "Veal!? You mean that practice where people eat those innocent baby cows!? That's cruel!"

 Veal is a bad word. People don't like to think about this (although many love to eat it as a guilty pleasure). And you can find yourself as the recipient of some very strong language if you find yourself talking about this to the wrong person (hello vegetarians, vegans, and animal rightists!).

  But you know something? Veal doesn't have to be what most people think of, which is that of doe-eyed calves chained to tiny stalls and aren't allowed freedom. Few farmers do this anymore, anyway. There's an alternative for us small farmers though; it's known as "rose veal". These are calves raised on pasture and allowed to romp until they reach the proper size which is about 300-500 lbs. They lead a happy, healthy, carefree life, and are a far cry from what the average consumer imagines in their mind's eye. Some people will still say they don't want to eat a baby animal, but guess what? Just about all animals are butchered at a very young age; people only seem to balk at the idea of eating a young cow. Last I checked, those slaughter age lambs and goats were pretty darn cute...

  Anyway, this post isn't supposed to be a rant (well it sort of is... I'm getting of the soap box now though). I wanted to share a link with y'all about raising veal as a startup enterprise. I've looked into veal over the last year and a half, and I personally like the idea. Running a beef herd sounds good in theory to me, but then I start thinking about having to deal with those adult cows... And a bull... And the infrastructure I'd need... And my lack of physical strength... On second thought, maybe a beef herd isn't such a good idea for a single girl to tackle. Even if she does have a good dog. Of course, there's always the idea of raising stocker calves over the summer and then slaughtering them. That's where you buy 500 lb. calves, fatten 'em up, and ship 'em off when the cold weather comes. Easy to do, Joel Salatin recommends it, not much infrastructure is needed. Boom. We're cookin'. Right? Eh... Until you look at stocker prices. Granted, those vary from state to state, but in my area you're looking at $1 to $1.50 per lb. for a stocker. That's $500 to $750 for EACH calf!!!! I'm not made of money!!! Sure, it probably pays in the end and once you get going you can use your profit to invest in more calves. But - um - what about those of us (meaning me, primarily) who usually only has about $500 to their name? I could buy one calf and then poof! I'd be broke. I wouldn't even have enough money to haul the calf home. Or buy fencing. Or a charger. Back to square one, we go.

  I live in an area where you can't hardly throw a stick without hitting a dairy (or a vineyard, or an alpaca farm... Yeah. It's eclectic here.). And those dairies sell their bull calves for anywhere from $0 to $50 per calf. The dairyman who I've bought calves and cows from over the years sells his Jersey bull calves for $25 each. I could buy TWENTY dairy calves for the same price as ONE stocker calf. Hmm. Granted, bottle feeding those twenty calves for the first 6-8 weeks can be expensive, so that would take careful planning so that you're not burning money. Profit wise though, I see potential. Looking at who's selling what here in Oregon (all my math is very, very specific to my location. I'm not saying you can't have the same prices; I just can't confirm it), and beef is selling for an average of $3.00 per lb. dressed and cut. Veal is selling for $9.00 per lb. So if you butcher out your 1,100 - 1,200 lb. stocker calf and get 600 lbs. of meat, you're looking at a gross of $1,800 (your profit depends on all those details that vary from farm to farm). If you butcher out your 500 lb. veal calf and get 250 lbs. of meat, you're looking at a gross of $2,250 (if you think that $9 per lb. is ridiculously high, then I sure ain't about to tell you that I sell my greens for $96 a lb.). Who's your customer for veal? I'd say high-end restaurants primarily. If you've got a good farmer's market near you that brings in folks willing to pay top dollar for food, then that'd be a good outlet too.

  Personally, I like the idea of veal. Those calves aren't hanging around for near as long, they're easier to handle (especially since they're used to human contact), small enough that a girl + a good dog could handle them, they're cheap to get into, and there's a growing market for this.

  Now, why am I spouting all this? I'm not trying to create some bandwagon that everyone jumps onto, I promise. But I do want to put this idea out for those of you who are on small acreages, or you have limited start up finances, or you like the idea of cows, but are rather intimidated at the idea of caring for something that weighs 1,200+ lbs. I think there's something to this.

Edit: I had a different link earlier, but then reader and friend, Lindsey, informed me of a better one! So, here's for your reading pleasure, folks. This is a five-part blog series coming from a lady who's been raising veal calves for something like eight years now. The information that she shares is detailed and very handy. I loved reading through it!! Just click HERE and you'll be directed to it!

How To Make Homemade Dairy Goat Feed

  Well looky here! We've got a new tutorial! Three cheers for Caity, who never seems to do these when she intends to!! Wait, wha? Oh never mind...

 Goat food. Recipe. More specifically, dairy goat food recipe. Yep, I live an exciting life. Instead of doing what the average 21 year old does, this one writes down and tries out recipes to feed goats. What can I say? I like to live life on the edge; with lots of danger and excitement. 'Cause, um, goat food is so -- so -- risky and thrilling? Okay, I give. I plead guilty to being a farm girl. And one who likes to cut costs when possible, increase profit, and be able to customize my own feed for my stock. That's excitement enough for me. :)

 Almost seven years ago I started looking around for a way to make my own custom feed for my milking does. The feed at the store was something like $17 for a 50 lb. bag and not only did that NOT last long, but it had corn, soy, and a bunch of empty fillers in it; none of which I wanted my does to eat since I was trying to keeping things corn free/soy free for the sake of my customers. I was pretty clueless at first. What in the world did people feed their goats back in the old days? Can you really mix your own feed? *skeptical tone and look*

  Then I found a recipe that seemed easy enough to make, proved to be cost effective, and the goats did AMAZINGLY on it. I've used this recipe ever since. I've even fed it to my dairy cows (with a slight modification that is explained below). So I thought I would share my recipe with y'all; if you're looking to try making your own feed for your caprine friends, then give this one a whirl!

Homemade Dairy Goat Ration

Ingredients:

50 lbs. Rolled barley

50 lbs. oats; whole, crushed, or rolled... Doesn't matter unless you're feeding cows. Then you want it crushed/rolled to increase digestibility.

3 lbs. Linseed meal

1 lb. kelp meal

Molasses to coat everything

The barley is essential for this mix. Barley = milk. The oats can be replaced with a different grain, but take care that you look into how that changes the protein content. This mix is supposed to come out averaging 16% to 18% protein, but you may want to check that on your own since grain can vary in protein content from area to area. 

To Mix:

1. Find a big clean tarp (those blue, 10'x12' ones work great) and a clean leaf rake. These are your grain mixing tools!

2. Dump the oats and barley onto the tarp and use that rake to start mixing it all together. This can take a few minutes.

3. Once the grain is thoroughly mixed, scatter the linseed meal and kelp meal over it all and gently spread it out. Over mixing at this point will make it all sift to the bottom, which makes the next step a bit harder...

4. Pour molasses over and mix that in too until you get a slightly tacky, but still well coated mix. How much molasses does it take? I can't say for sure. I've gotten nice thick batches of molasses where it only took 12 cups to coat 100+ lbs. of feed, and I've gotten thin batches that took loads of that sticky, sweet stuff to coat everything. I would probably suggest starting with 10-12 cups worth and then working your way up from there. It takes a LOT of mixing to really coat everything. It's almost like you have to "rub" it into the grain with that rake. When you think you've gotten everything coated, pull on a tarp corner to get the bottom flipped onto the top and then get that coated. Yep, right when you think you're done, you'll find that you're not. ;)

5. Store! I kept my grain in metal trash cans meant specifically for grain. I find that this stuff stores pretty well (I think 40-50 days is the longest I've ever had this stuff hang around before it all got eaten), although since we don't get REALLY hot days here in Oregon, or humidity, I can't say what the shelf life of it would be for those of you who get real summers.

  You may have noticed that I didn't include any salt in the mix; that's because I offer salt free choice at all times to my goats/cows. The kelp meal is a nutritional powerhouse that is packed with vitamins, minerals, and other such goodies, but not all of my goats would eat it free choice. Hiding it in the molasses coated feed got it in them no problem.

  So there you have it! It's easy to make, relatively cheap, and you are able to choose what is - or isn't - in your feed. :)

If I Was A Guy, I'd Do It.

  I think I'm coming down with cabin fever. Actually, I think it's been setting in since September, but today I'm really feeling the symptoms. Folks, I haven't done a full, hard day's work since August. And I'm feelin' it. Sure, I stay busy, I find various projects to keep me somewhat engaged... But today I'm downright pining to move livestock to new pasture, milk a cow, and slaughter something (animal, that is). It's a cloudy, grumpy day outside and the walls of the house are beginning to feel like they're closing in. I worked outside during the morning; adding new plastic to the greenhouse, cleaning out the barn some more... But it's not enough. My body wants to ache from physical activity spent working with another living creature, and my brain is going ballistic from weeks and weeks without a really good project to puzzle over. I'm not exactly "bored", but I'll certainly say that I'm not accustomed to this slow pace of life. I miss outwitting pigs, teaching the heifer to lead, cleaning my milking equipment, and slaughtering. I've said that twice now. I admit, I really do have a hankering to get a knife in my hand today and slaughter something. Not exactly sure what's with that, but it is what it is. Earlier I was trying to read a book, but found that I kept having to read that same page over, and over, and over. Nothing was sinking in because my mind kept wandering to my old job that I used to have at the slaughter house. And I got to thinking about how much I missed the work. I don't regret my reasons for leaving that job, but I do miss the work. It was good, solid work that folks really appreciate, and I enjoy. Thinking about my old job led my wandering mind down the rabbit trailing thoughts of how fun it would be to own a mobile slaughtering unit (hey, there's always this gorgeous ride to consider, right? LOL. I'm 75% teasing on this one.), which led to finding and buying this cool looking book about a mobile poultry slaughter house (It's almost creepy how excited I am for this to come. I also have Joel Salatin's newest book coming, Jenna Woginrich's newest one on it's way, and one more book due soon... Yet I want this one more than any of them!!!), which then led that rambling mind to thinking about the Portable Plucker folks near me and what an awesome, lucrative gig that is for them, and then finally to the brand spankin' new slaughter house that opened down south in Brownsville (I still swoon over that pretty building, and how well they've set it up.). Yeah, my mind goes everywhere. You should try living with it for a day. *note much sarcasm*

  I believe the end result of all this mental wandering is that 1. I really miss slaughtering. And 2. this really seems like a good opportunity for anyone with the skill and stomach for it. Seriously! There is such a need for more processors; good ones. Especially mobile ones. Or at least folks who will rent out equipment, like what the Portable Plucker folks do.

 At the risk of ruffling some feathers, I'm going to make a statement that I normally keep to myself: If I was a guy, I would totally put myself in training to do this work. I'd be running after this idea so hard and fast that I'd put the Warner Bros. Roadrunner to shame (meep, meep!). But since I'm a girl, I've decided to stand back and try and keep a lid on this desire. Now, before y'all start huffing at me for sounding legalistic, or saying that there's no shame in a woman having her own career, or encouraging me to go for it anyway, allow me to explain. First off, this is merely MY conviction. I have no qualms with other women who have long term careers and whatnot; it's just not my personal cup of tea. It takes all kinds to make a world, and we need all these different people with their different tastes to make everything work. So this is mine. :) Okay, disclaimer is now over... I'm not actively pursuing a long term career because quite frankly, it gets lonely all by yourself. Farming alone is hard and I don't find it enjoyable (why do you think I bought a dog!?), running a slaughtering unit long term sounds just as lonely. Let's imagine for a moment that this crazy farm girl someday bumps into an equally crazy farm boy (remember? I'm a klutz; therefore, "bumping" into someone is perfectly legit in my case. And he'd have to be crazy too to put up with me and the fact that I like cows, bow hunting and know how to use a knife.). That'd be a dream come true if Mr. Right had a farm of his own, or at least liked the idea of going for it. Wahoo, I get to live on a farm! But my job wouldn't be to run the farm. I'd be backup, primarily doing the role of Farm Wife. And I'm okay with that. THAT is my long term goal. Call me old fashioned, but House Wife or rather, Farm Wife is long term goal. This farming gig which I've come to love so much is to keep me busy during these single years. Everything I've learned during these years will be handy in the future. I can milk cows, fix a vacuum pump, drive a manual truck, slaughter any animal, hunt, can, raise broilers, deal with customers, haggle with grain suppliers, and buy good quality hay (the gardening part is still a work in progress... *cough, cough*). If it came to where a second income was needed, then hey, I'm ready! I know what to do! But aiming for a long term career such as a mobile butcher (or a vet, or anything else) seems pointless to me, in my case (please notice emphasis; go back to disclaimer if necessary) when I would be giving it all up after the honeymoon. In the end, I get to be the brains, and he gets to be the brawn around the place (I kid. I wanna' drive the tractors too. Okaaay, I'm teasing again. He'd probably be both and I'd be the one wreaking havoc, bringing home new cows all the time, and annoying the stew out of him); meaning I'm in the background cooking up evil ideas that probably have some hole in them, but he'd be the one actually bringing home the bacon. There's no shame to keeping a house standing and raising a family, folks. That's my job. I've never been hugely keen on "stay-at-home dads" and "career moms". But again, just my tiny two cents with which you can do whatever you like with (meaning chuck it, or agree with it). But you know what, if Mr. Right needed a working partner for whatever reason, I'd be right there doing it (hey he could drive the semi and I'll use the sharp, pointy knives! Grand idea!). So if that means I'm an "employee" who does evening milking for 300 cows, or drives the tractor/combine all day long until harvest season is over, then fine. I'm good with that (as long as the tractor is green. I might have qualms if it's red or blue). The difference here is who's boss. Somehow I don't think the marriage would be as strong if I was the one running the 300 cow dairy and I told Mr. Right that his job around the place is to do what I tell him... ;)

  Now, where in the world was I going with all this? You see, my mind totally rabbit trailed and the above rant was originally not planned. Slaughtering. Yes, I was talking about slaughtering. If I was a guy, I'd consider it as a career. But since I'm not, I get the fun job of puzzling over how I can weave this interest into my life for a short term. I like a good mental puzzle, and this one has been fun to chew on during these rainy, quiet days before I leave. Who knows, maybe in the end I'll just do like the Portable Plucker folks and merely rent out equipment for other folks. I think even that would be enough...

  In the mean time though, I think I'm beginning to suffer from a serious case of cabin fever. And I've still got twenty seven days before I leave. Think I'll survive? ;)

Farmland ~ The Movie

 Guys!! LOOK what's coming out in Spring of 2014!!! I apologize that there's no picture, no video, no nothin'; I tried. Honest. But there's an awesome film coming out after winter thaw; a story following 6 young farmers in their 20's and how they do their job. Looks like they cover a pretty good scope with a crop farmer, cattle rancher, hog farmer, chicken farmer, and...? The trailer had me all misty eyed and I done ruined my mascara now. :P I realize not everyone will get teary eyed over something like this, but I think a few will understand my excitement. I think I might even be more excited about this than I am about the new Marvel movies coming out (Thor 2, Captain America 2, Avengers 2). Shucks, I might even be more excited about this than about The Hobbit 2. And that's sayin' somethin'.

 If you missed that first link, here it is again. Click HERE to check 'Farmland' out!

How Joel Salatin Nets 60k/year On 20 Acres of Rented Land

  Okay this is only a 10 minute teaser clip, but I was still absolutely excited and inspired after watching it!! Joel Salatin explains how he NETS $60,000 every year on 20 acres of rented land, via hogs. I learned all this stuff while I was at Polyface last year, but it's still great to see and hear it all over again. It really works, folks. Had I decided to stay here in Oregon instead of head to Missouri, then I would have been doing this. It was my original plan; raising Berkshire and Hereford hogs to sell for a premium price to local customers, restaurants, and the local butcher shop.

 Maybe I'll pick that plan up when I come back... First things first, right?

It's Not About The Money. It's About Doing What You Love.

Why I Farm: Mark Thomas from Becks Hybrids on Vimeo.

'You Can Farm' E-School

Verge Permaculture is hosting an amazing e-school taught exclusively by Joel Salatin! Looks like there's going to be three workshops to attend (hm, hm... I want them all!); each one focusing on one of his book topics: You Can Farm (starting and succeeding in farming), Pastured Poultry Profits (raising broilers), and Salad Bar Beef (plus pigaerator pork).

  Verge is giving thirty minutes of one of the lessons for free up until Sunday the 20th; so hurry up and watch it before it's too late!! I enjoyed it, as I always do enjoy Joel's stuff.

 So if you've got some birthday money sitting in your pocket, it looks like Joel's e-school might be a good way to spend it. ;)

Mini Hay Baler - What Do You Think?

  So here's something new to me: A walk behind, mini round baler that's powered by a BCS. It's designed for the small farmer who has 10 acres or less and wants to bale their own hay. The round bales are 2x'2' and weigh roughly 45 lbs. each.

 I have no idea what this baler costs (have yet to find a price online), but what do y'all think? If the price was decent, would you consider something like this? I ask out of curiosity. :) I would love to bale my own hay, but I always thought I'd either have to have enough land to warrant a tractor and all the equipment (which then puts me in the haying business, which I don't really want), or I'd have to do it the reeeeaaaally old way of using a scythe and then putting the hay on tripods, just like old times. I like the idea of the round baler. Looks fun. Although, speaking as someone who's used to using 120 lb. bales, I think the size is a tad pathetic. Forty-five pound bales are -- puny. Sorry. Maybe there are some good things about them that I don't know about. Like, they're a single size serving for cows??? Again, I'm used to my 3-stringers that weigh as much as me. ;) I don't think I've ever seen a 45 lb. bale...

  But size aside, I'm still curious about these things.

  Would you buy one if you could?

I Used To Wonder

 I used to wonder how well I would handle having to put down an animal of my own. Slaughtering I can do; it's easier, mentally, to do the task since you know you will be putting meat in the freezer. But I wasn't sure how I would do with using a rifle to dispatch an animal that would not be used for meat. An animal too sick, or too old, or too "something" (imagine your own circumstance), to put it in the freezer. I've been lucky for a long, long time. I usually either found animals already dead, or found them minutes away from dying; so I never had to face that moment of loading a gun and putting something out of it's misery.

  Actually, I take that back. I've just been a coward up until now. I've had animals that needed to be shot, but I was a wimp and made either my dad or my older brother take the poor thing down and out. Yay me. Not.

  My memory is a funny thing... When I decide to forget something, then that's pretty much it. I forget it. I've got a "permanent delete" button in this ol' noggin' of mine. A couple weeks ago I was morbidly doing a head count of my animal losses this year (gotta' have something to think about while washing the dishes!), and it was the hardest thing trying to remember everyone... Last year was excellent; I didn't lose a single animal. But this year has been marred and scarred by multiples happenings; the cows had their issues, Peaches, the heifer, killed a bunch of goats, and then there was Trigun.

  I shot Trigun. It was the last day of July, early in the morning. My day had started out gloriously, my grandma and sister-in-law were over for a visit, we had our day all planned out, and I was busy taking care of the stock before breakfast time. Then I found Trigun. Laying down on the cool dirt floor of the barn, with all of her insides grotesquely on her outside. In short, I had before me a goat with a severe prolapse. Seriously, it was gross, and I do not get grossed out easily. The entire goat herd had gotten out 48 hours earlier (sigh... Goats are amazing fence crashers) and Trigun had made the mistake of eating foxglove, which is a poisonous plant. Normally this causes cardiac arrest, but for some reason it made Trigun prolapse. My first thought was to put those organs, intestines, and what-have-you right back inside the goat (it was early morning still. I really have no idea how I would have done that. Give me a break here), but that idea was quickly shot down as I looked at the mass of tissue protruding from her. It was filthy and completely covered in dirt, and dry; there was no way to fix that problem (no, I couldn't "just wash it!"). Poor Trigun was in a bad state; breathing shallowly, groaning softly in pain, and fading before me. That goat just wanted to die.

  And it was then and there that I felt my clear, semi-calm (you can only be so calm when you're looking at your herd matriarch in a state like that) decision. She needed to be dispatched. NOW. I read about folks who tote their livestock to the vet to be euthanized, or hear about having the vet come out to do the job. There was no time for this; not when my goat was in this state and the vet was an hour away. Sometimes the most humane way to end an animal's life is to do it immediately. So I ran inside, and told someone (I think it was mom?) that I needed the gun. I can't for the life of me remember if I went and got the gun, or if someone brought it to me... All I remember is my sister-in-law appearing to come help me with this task before breakfast. Bless her heart, my SIL has put up with so much over the years, but somehow I don't think she ever expected to have to witness/help the dispatching of a goat. Eh, there's a first time for everything.

  Turns out that the firearm for the job was our sleek, compact 9mm handgun. I had never shot this thing before... I knew how powerful it was though, and knew that it would do the job. I think my SIL came along in case I broke down and couldn't shoot my lovely Trigun. This was the sweetest goat... She milked 2 gallons a day, never shoved the other goats around, never escaped; she was a good, old girl. She was old too; almost 8 years, which is a ripe age for most goats. Walking back to the barn, there were those thoughts of wanting to fix her, wanting to postpone this. But once you saw her, you knew there was no way around this. She needed to go. She wanted to go.

  In my haste to help Trigun, I completely forgot to consider ear plugs for myself. I guess since I had never shot this particular gun before, and didn't know how loud it was, it didn't come to mind... My SIL didn't think of it either until the very last moment, but was at least able to plug her ears with her fingers.

  I used to wonder how I would handle having to put down an animal of my own. Now I know. You just do it. Turn your brain off and do it, knowing that this is the best thing.

 I aimed the gun; back of her head, right where horns would have been, the muzzle pointed straight to the nose. This causes instantaneous death with small livestock such as sheep and goats, whose heads differ from cattle and hogs (where you draw an imaginary 'X' on the front of the face).

I aimed.
Said I was sorry.
Fired.

 Trigun dropped. Quickly, painlessly, instantly.

 I was totally unprepared for the impact of the shot's noise on my eardrums. Holy kohlrabi. They weren't ringing. Or, if they were then I sure couldn't hear 'em. In fact, I couldn't hear anything! Shucks, you could hear things underwater better than this. Turns out that I didn't have my full hearing back for another two days. Lesson learned.

  Dispatching livestock is nobody's favorite job. But it sometimes has to be done. For three months I've kept this story to myself, but tonight I wanted to share it. Not because I'm feeling morbid. But because I know myself well enough to know that I will forget Trigun eventually; and this is my way of recording what happened. It's also to give some of y'all a peek into the harsher side of this lifestyle. Not many people like to write about graphic problems like this because not only is it NOT pleasant (and who wants to read an unpleasant blog when you can read a hundred "very pleasant" ones on the web?), but it's also because we know that there are plenty of animal rightists and PETA members crawling around the place and they certainly don't like stories like this. But someone has to share this stuff. Someone has to be the brave (or foolish. Take your pick) soul to tell the truth that there are still hard days. And shucks, this one little moment can't be anywhere near what the ranchers in South Dakota are going through as they deal with their dead and dying cattle. So with that in mind, this is my story. I shot my goat.