Better

   Last night was a much better night than the last two. With the help of my host family, we got both wood stoves roaring by 8pm, and by midnight the entire loft was around 85F. It was so gloriously warm... Along with finally having a plethora of heat, I also had Christmas lights strung up along the ceiling (Thanks Tasha! Great idea!), which made the place delightfully cheery, and lastly I borrowed a radio for the night and kept it playing softly all night. Oh yeah, and there were kittens... Hehe. One of the barn cats likes to hang out in the loft, and she's been due to pop any day. I guess she decided last night was a good time to do it; and in my absence she made a nice little nest right on my bed. *un-amused look* Seriously, pussy cat? I liked that blanket. Oh well, we got her moved into a little box right next to my bed; and now I have 6 fluffy little kittens to keep me company in here. They are so stinkin' cute. ^_^

  I slept all night long, without one single sniffle or tear. It was so nice. I think the radio was a key component here, but gosh those Christmas lights helped too... Dim enough to keep on all night, but still bright enough to act as an "adult nightlight". ;) 

  Hopefully this can become a habit... Eighty-five degrees by bed time, music, and twinkle lights. 

  I think I might be high maintenance... Just a suspicion. 

Alone

  I am a ridiculous person.

  Just know this now.

  Actually, you may have already known that fact, but I'm stating it anyway. My reason for this statement? I'm on my second night of crying as I climb into bed, and I foresee myself continuing this habit for probably another week. Folks, I'm four months shy of turning 22, and here I am crying myself to sleep when dusk falls. I'm too old for this. Yet I'm doing it anyway. Why? Because I'm lonely. 

  I moved into the loft two days ago. It's just little ol' me up here. Me, plus the spiders and mice that share this place, anyway... It's dark, unfamiliar, chilly because I can't get the wood stove heated up due to the ash tray having technical difficulties, and frankly... I hate being alone. I just really, really, really hate being alone at night. 

  I'm sure I'll get used to this in time... Things will become familiar, I'll get the wood stove fixed tomorrow, the cat will fix the mouse problem... My hope is that in a week I'll be able to act like a normal adult who doesn't mind being alone at night. But right now? Well, right now I'm propped up in bed with tears streaking my cheeks. I've brought Gyp to bed with me tonight to fight against some of the loneliness, and I will somewhat sheepishly even admit that I'm wearing a sweater, that I pilfered from my boyfriend, to act as a security blanket. 

  I hate nighttime these days... After dinner, I begin to feel a knot forming in the pit of my stomach; it grows and intensifies as the hours fall away. Pretty soon it's time: Time for me to walk up to the loft and spend the next 8 - 9 hours in darkness, silence, and isolation. 

  I really hope I get used to this soon... In the meantime, all I've got is a dog and a red sweater to help me through.

  Any advice on how to get over this little problem? I would really love to hear some wisdom right now.

Your Argument Is Invalid

  I am not a fan of chickens. I must admit this. Sure, I like some of the fighting breeds, but on the whole, I don't care for chickens. However, I could be very easily convinced to keep chickens, if I had a coop that looked like the TARDIS. Observe:

It is a TARDIS chicken coop. Your argument is invalid. 

P.S. The source of this image, plus building directions can be found HERE.

Migrating

  The geese are all flying back to their respective warm-weather homes, the frogs are peeping, the thunderstorms are happening, the snow is thawing, the green grass is poking up... Spring is tip toeing her way here in all cautiousness and subdued manner. But hey, I'm not complaining! We've been having some lovely weather in between the dying cold snaps. So I'm happy.

  And with all this changing that's going around, and migrating of beasts, The Caity (notice the capitalization. Yes, I have given myself a title. It's a matter of time before I get my crown...) herself is migrating also. No, I'm not going far. Promise. Just 6.5 minutes walk away from the main house and FINALLY going back to the Loft! Whoohoo! We've been waiting on two things for this little migration of mine: Warm weather and WiFi. Ahem. Yeah, okay, that first one is understandable. Getting a frozen nose again isn't exactly my idea of a fun night. And it's hard to milk cows if you're a icicle and look like you got blasted by Gru's Freeze-Ray (it's possible that I'm being slightly dramatic in this sentence... Not positive, but possible.). So I tucked tail and fled to the warm main house where everything is nicely insulated against winter's grumpiness. The WiFi though was the second big reason. There weren't no internet connection up thar! Shucks, a girl can only live without so much... And the Loft already has no shower, washing machine, or thermostat (I promise I'm still taking showers and doing laundry. I just have to walk down to the main house to do those). Actually, the Loft has had WiFi in the past, but they took it down last winter since no one was living up there. And now that I've hopelessy rabbit-trailed, let me get back to my original point! There is net connection up there as of yesterday!! It works bee-yew-ti-fully. ^_^ 

  I have no idea when I'll attempt The Great Migration and move on up there... Maybe this week, or maybe next. It'll be interesting to see if I manage to stay up there this time. Hehe. 

  And in the mean time, I'm also slooooowly getting ready to get my microgreen business up and running here. I'm having one of those moments where I'm mentally swinging between, "What if this doesn't work!?!?" and "Of course it'll work!" I'm excited to get back into growing those little greens, but there's still that little fear of failure hovering in the back of my mind. Sigh. But, here we go anyway. I'm a little tardy in getting this going though; I ordered my pea and radish seeds like -- 15 minutes ago. *cough, cough* Oh well. If this weather holds, then I should hopefully have the first crop ready just in time for the first day of Farmer's Market. Fingers crossed. And I still have to build a greenhouse of sorts... Phooey. Oh wait, let me rephrase that: I still need to dole out cash to have a greenhouse built, and have the guys here build one since they like that kind of stuff. It's the cash doling-out that doesn't have me smiling. Greenhouses are great. Spending money is not. I think I'm starting to rabbit trail again. *suspicious look*

 Want a sad note of news? Nobody does. But I'll say it anyway since I might as well keep you in the loop. Things are still going really rough with Gyp. *sad, sad, sad face* Folks, I love that dog. But I can't bring myself to watch him be ruined like this. I see him for maybe 20 minutes every day? He doesn't deserve this. He needs a human. Gosh dang, life has changed so much since I first bought him... I'm still praying about what to do in this situation, but in the meantime, one person has asked if I would consider her as a possible new owner, and I said 'yes'. 

  Okay, now I need to cheer myself up. Hmm... Think, think, think. 

 Frog hunting. I'm going frog hunting tomorrow night. ;) That's cheery news. I'm just out to catch and release some peepers and tree frogs. It's been forever since I've gone frog hunting, and I'm just in a weird mood to do it again. 

 Alright, one last bit of uber randomness to amuse you? I found the neatest Tardis backpack. Clicking those highlighted words will show you this fabulous treasure that I have so delightedly found. ^_^ I am really, super, horribly, terribly, tempted to buy this once I have a spare $26 lying around. That's a lie actually. I'm not "tempted to buy it". I'm buying it. One does not simply not buy a Tardis backpack (if you said that in Boromir's voice, then you are on my level of awesomeness). Write it down folks: The Caity is getting a Tardis backpack. The nerds called, and I answered. What can I say? 

  'Kay. I'm gone now. Toodle pip and cheerio y'all! (That was weird... I totally just mixed British with Redneck. Wow.)

My Team

  Surprise! I have a picture for y'all! Yes, yes, how shocking... I pilfered a teeny, tiny point-and-shoot for this. Thought I would share the awesomeness of the airsoft team that I've found myself in. ;) So folks, here's me (center; only girl, and the only one smiling. Ha!) and my team (with one newbie who came for the day; the kid on the far right is not part of the core group).

   It's a pretty great group, if I may say so. They're all great players, and they don't mind having a girl in their midst. Or the fact that she has painted fingernails and shiny earrings in during the wars. *cough, cough* 

  Yesterday's war went pretty well. I got some kills, kept team members alive, died heroically (more than once. Ahem), got blisters and bruises, and thorns embedded in my skin, played with rifles, and just generally enjoyed myself. 

  I can't wait until the next war. :)

Gonna' Be Awesome

  I'm headed outside in about 30 minutes for another airsoft war with the guys. :) The weather is going to be a perfect 60F and sunny; should be an awesome day to be stalking each other through the forest, and dodging BB pellets. ^_^

 It gets interesting though, because I have to leave the war an hour early so I can get ready for... Wait for it... A dance. LOL. I'm still chuckling at this contrast. I'll spend the first 6 hours of my day in military camo and combat boots, babying "my" (I like to call it mine) AK-47, and shouting strange tactical terms at my other team members... Then at 4pm I'll have to leave it all behind so I can change into a skirt, shiny dance shoes, a gorgeous lace-up bodice I just bought... I'll have makeup, my hair will be done nicely... It's like my own version of Cinderella. 

 But for now, I'm geared up for war. It's gonna' be awesome.

Can I Get an 'Amen'?