Wednesday, December 5, 2012

In Case You Didn't Already Know, My Life Isn't Perfect

 There is a common thread that I hear from people whom I meet, and that is that people assume I have this grand and perfect life out here. Folks read this blog and assume I have my battle plan business plan all written tidily out and I'm just out here enjoying this easy life singing with goats and growing food. I was flipping through my draft posts I have in my Blogger files (103 posts that have never been read by the public... Wow.) and found one in particular that made me laugh at myself. The post below was written last March, at a time when I was sorely frustrated with myself and the fact that I was spinning my wheels. I think I decided to leave this post in the draft file because it sounded too much like I was complaining, but I'm posting it now so that not only can y'all laugh at me too, but here's the proof: My life isn't perfect. Far from it in fact. But I try. We all try. And as long as we keep picking ourselves back up and trying doggedly again, we WILL accomplish what we are after. This I know for a fact. 

So in the end, I picked my oars back up and kept rowing. I think I'm getting somewhere now.

"I wanted an ocean liner, and instead I'm given a row boat. Why is life never easy? Shucks, I've put blood, sweat and tears into trying to get this little farm up and running, but why is it that I have to pull myself up by the bootstraps? Sure, I know life isn't easy, and the farming life is especially grueling, but can't I get a leg up just once in awhile? Can't something work out that might make things just a tad easier? I don't ask for much; just a bit to give me some start up. Money makes the world go 'round, and I just can't seem to get any of that stuff. This post isn't a complaint, it's a ponder. It's my thoughts being thought aloud.
 I wanted an ocean liner in life. An easy fix to my problems that would allow me to effortlessly glide through life and have a famously productive farm. Oh yes, I can see it now... The magazine articles, the radio broadcasts, the autographs... A young girl single handedly started her own farm and it all turned out just magnificently. 
 Now we plunk down to reality: I'm on a row boat. Maybe I'll paint the words "Ocean Liner" on the prow to make myself feel better.... I manually heave my little boat forward. My hands are blistered and bloody, my shoulders ache, my legs cramp up, the wind bites me, the water stretches on and on.... The folks on the cruise ship sail by, waving with their free hand; the other one is holding a glass of lemonade. They probably all won free tickets from a contest... I watch them pass and continue my rowing. Work, work, work. Blood, sweat, tears. Yet I never seem to get anywhere. I never seem to gain ground. Why must this be so hard???
 And then I find that the boat has not only not gone forward, but I went in a complete circle and am now right back where I started. Maybe I should try swimming? Para-gliding? Sending a SOS?"


Anonymous said...

What a great analogy! For life that is...because you are not alone on that ocean - it is crowded with rowboats, rafts, inflatable dinghies, etc. Very few ocean liners - and of those at least a few are Titanics in the making. Your rowboat is manned (womanned?) by a strong, determined, seasoned, experienced sailor with a weather eye, and your boat is defintely not going to continue in circles, but will be seen to be moving forward, plowing through waves and swells, battening down for storms and riding them out. Though it won't surprise me a bit if you of all people decide that para gliding might be an answer :).

Anonymous said...

I second that, great analogy! I didn't think you had a perfect life but I do admire how upbeat and positive you are when things go wrong. You are ready to try out new ideas, and even laugh and make fun when you might have felt like screaming. That is what I get from reading your blog and it has done me good.

I also have a question for you. My Nigerian Dwarf is supposed to be kidding end of Feb, but her udder is swelling a little and her uterus is swollen...I thought that only happens when they are about to kid????
Thanks! Tasha.

Anonymous said...

Lol, I said uterus, I meant vagina.

Goat Song said...

LOL, I knew what you meant Tasha. ;) Is your ND a first freshener? I can't remember how old you said she was...

Some does will start bagging up a few months before they kid; My Nubian doe, Metty, bagged up and looked ready to pop 2 months before she kidded. Are you positive on her kidding date? Any chance she could have been bred earlier? I would say just keep a close eye on her for now, and monitor the swelling.

@ Sailorssmallfarm: Awww, thank you for the sweet comment! :)

Anonymous said...

Thanks for your answer! Yes she is a first freshener and it'll also be my first kidding soooo I'm a little unsure. I'm pretty certain she wasn't bred earlier, the lady I got her from was organized and honest.
She is still swollen but isn't acting any different and is plenty healthy.
I'll keep both eyes on her for as long as I can spare them.