Do you know how many years I dreamed about having my own cow?
Those Jerseys looked so irresistible with their big, brown eyes, and fawn colored coat.
I wanted one so badly.
So I got you, darling Poppy, In October of 2010. You weighed only 50 lbs. and I could carry you around.
I never would have guessed, Poppy dearest, what was to come in those months ahead of us...
I certainly wasn't prepared when it came time to dehorn you, and I had to put duct tape on your head afterwards. I must say that you made a very cute Martian.
I never would have guessed that we would have adventures such as the time when I couldn't get you out of the chicken coop at 10 PM. You weighed about 250 lbs. at that time, honey. That's a good deal more than me. I pushed, shoved, pulled, pleaded, threatened. But no, you wanted to stay in that chicken coop. If I remember correctly, it was also raining that night, and I didn't have a hat on.
Remember the time when you stubbornly wanted to go walking up the road? You were so big, that I couldn't get you to turn around. Alas, that big logging truck came at an ill time... You took one look at that rumbling monstrosity and high tailed it back to the barn, with me in tow. Poppy, I think that truck driver is still laughing as he recalls the girl who got dragged across the road by her galloping cow, and then slammed into the barn wall because she couldn't stop. Do you know how sore I was, the day after that, Poppy? I never would have guessed that we would have an experience such as that..
Nor would I have guessed that you would step on my goat kids, bully my older goats, chase the chickens, and bellow so loudly that I thought you were dying.
Nope. I never would have guessed any of that, Poppy dear.
I thought I had you figured out. You had pulled so many stunts, that it didn't seem possible for you to think of anymore. I guess you're smarter than you look.
You really outdid yourself this afternoon, Poppy my Poppy. When I looked into the pasture and saw the chicken tractor three feet farther than where I had put it this morning, little tiny chickies running around everywhere, and YOUR hoof prints skidded into the ground, around the crime scene, well... I never expected that! Poppy, do you know how hard it was to catch all 32 of those chicks? Of course you do. You were right behind the goat kids, having so much fun chasing those poor chicks around. You didn't know those balls of feathers could move so fast, did you? And I'm sure you were laughing behind those big, brown eyes, as you watched me catapult myself over the fence to grab that one ornery chick who was about to fall into the creek. We wouldn't dare mention that you were eating the chicken feed that got spilled on the ground, either, would we?
Poppy dear, four people responded to my Craigslist ad about you. And all four of those flaked on me. Please don't say that it's fate. That I'm stuck with you for eternity... Poppy, I think I do still like you, but good heavens! You are giving me a run for my money, and you have officially turned my once-peaceful barn, completely upside down!
Supposedly someone is coming to take a look at you tomorrow. Poppy, you will behave when he comes, won't you? Pretty please? I've trained you to the halter, I've worked with you for months. Why do I have a sinking feeling that you are going to pull a new stunt tomorrow?
You lay down in the afternoon, and serenely chew your cud. You look so sweet when you do that... If I bribe you with a treat, will you try to look that sweet when the prospective buyer comes?
Poppy, you have taught me so many lessons about keeping cows... Things I could have never learned from a book. Now I think it's time that you teach someone else all those wonderful lessons. Maybe they'll survive you, better than I did.
Your worn out handler,
P.S. Please stop chasing after Chamomile when I'm not looking. It's getting rather tiresome having to constantly watch you!