Thursday, September 19, 2013

Coming Back

Being caught in the slow flurry (no other way to put it... If you've ever moved, then you'll understand me) of preparing to go out of state for a good while has left me trying to readjust myself, my schedule, my life. It's an odd place to be, and I've said that before. But this uncertainty and change has also crept into my blogging life; since the beginning of August I've felt really unsure about what to write. Heck, I'll come clean; I haven't know what to write about AT ALL. And when faced with that uncertainty I unconsciously shut down. If I don't know what to write, well then I just won't write at all! In short, I created a burnout in myself. I missed writing, but at the same time it didn't sound appealing to do. Logging into my Blogger account was like someone shoving bad news into my face. "Well look who's back! Hey there you big failure farm girl! You finally came back, eh? Here's a reminder that you have no animals at present, you lost two cows in a span of 6 months, and you gave up a whole bunch of great opportunities here in Oregon so that you can go gallivanting off to Missouri! Enjoy trying to find something to write about, girl. You know you won't think of anything."

Sometimes I really hate that voice inside my head...

But today I threw that voice out. Evicted it and gave it a 30 second notice to go away. And with that, I picked up the shredded pieces that were left of my writing habits, lovingly dusted them off and began making changes.

A blog can be just like a business. If you don't have a firm foundation, how can you expect to succeed? With that thought in mind, I collected materials for my afternoon... Pretty colored, glittery twistable crayons (I hope I never outgrow glittery twistable crayons), a calendar, notebook, and a bowl of ice cream. It was time to get a foundation down for this dusty ol' blog.

The next hour was spent writing. Slowly, sloppily, painfully (carpal tunnel doesn't like twistable crayons. Boo.), but I stubbonrly wrote along. Wrote myself a mission statement for this place, wrote short, medium, and long term goals, brainstormed post ideas, set a schedule, used my glittery crayons on my printed calendar so that I'll know what to write each day, and wrote up a wishlist for small changes I want to see on my blog template.

By the time my hour was over, my ice cream was gone (except for the melted part that my fork couldn't pick up... I don't like to use spoons), my purple crayon was dulled, my hand was sore, but boy howdy did I have a list before me! I feel organized now *smiley face*, and I feel good about my plans. They're not huge, but they're steady. That's what I need right now, steadiness in this sea of change. 

I'm coming back, folks. Thanks for waiting on me.

1 comment:

TheHylandlassie said...

I love reading your blog! I'm a similar age to you (I think) and have a wee farm in Scotland, also with cows and sheep. Sometimes the challenges that beset you, are exactly what is happening to me!

Keep up the good work. You deserve your good times. Losing house cows is especially tough, been there also.

Kind regards,
A fellow Introvert x