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Sunday, May 19, 2013

Madness

Sheer madness. That's what life is right now. Stress is extremely high for me right now... I'm supposed to pick my pork up today but can't seem to get a hold of the butcher, I have people wanting to come this evening to pick their pork shares up but I don't know what time to tell them to come, the butcher fees were double what I was expecting and its rocked my budget tremendously. I have a cow coming tomorrow, I'm low on hay, my dog decimated my microgreens last night which was a loss of around $360, I need to order more seeds and some packaging for the micros and that's going to have to be via overnight shipping, I still need to get the milk stall cleaned up and ready for work, need to get milk customers situated on days to come, my wheelbarrow has a flat tire which means I can't finish cleaning the pig pen out, I need to get the sheep shorn ASAP, need to buy some more kelp meal since I'm out... The list goes on and on.

I am beyond stressed out right now, and the week hasn't even started yet. 

More than once I came close to crying yesterday; I was so overwhelmed that I couldn't handle the situation anymore. But instead of crying, I went and worked out. Every single time the stress has become too much to bear, I've put on my running shoes and either ran, or I did double-unders (a more intense twist to jumping rope), or I did an insane amount of box-jumps (those kill, let me tell you!). All total yesterday, I ran three miles, jump roped for 20 minutes, and box jumped for about 15 minutes. My goal was to be so exhausted that my mind would shut down and allow me some time where I was too tired to think. It worked temporarily. I did another mile this morning, and I'm itching to do some more double-unders and box jumps. It's becoming the only time that allows me to let go of the stress. I let my MP3 blare and simply focus on breathing; there is no space for any other thought besides counting breaths and focusing on inhaling from the bottom of my lungs and not the top. 

This week is going to be brutal. It already is, and its barely started...

So either I'm going to be extremely fit by the weekend, or I'm going to be crippled or dead.

Madness this all is... Sheer madness.

3 comments:

nancy said...

Do you have some family who can help you with your work, for an extra pair of hands?

Kaia said...

Yikes! Here's hoping all ends up working out and goes smoothly!

Alison said...

I find that just jumping in somewhere and getting to work also helps. Find help from friends or family if you can. Ultimately,customers just need to know that farming is not an exact science, and the committment to better food sometimes comes at a price of convenience--there are delays and downfalls. This is nothing any farmer hasn't faced before. This too shall pass. Pull yourself up by your bootstraps, put a smile on your face and a spring in your step, and move forward. It will get figured out. Carry on!