Okay. I can do this.
Since writing that last post, I picked up the pork, got things figured out with customers who will be coming tomorrow for their halves, and I got a big misunderstanding figured out with the butcher. When the hogs were first butchered, I calculated that my cut/wrap/cure fees would total roughly $130, but I budgeted for $150, just in case there was some fee that I didn't know about. On Saturday night the butcher called to tell my end total for the cut/wrap/cure and his quote made me blanch. He said I owed him $276.20 for 200 lbs. of pork.
I panicked. I had budgeted for $150 maximum, not $276+!! And that's where the main bit of stress was coming in that had me working out like a maniac. Cash flow is always a bit tight at the end of each month, and this quoted amount was painful. I knew I could do it, it just wouldn't be fun.
When my dad and I got to the meeting place with the butcher (THAT was nice! He met us halfway and didn't charge a cent for his gas/time!), he immediately began apologizing; saying he had given me the wrong total amount over the phone! At those words, I felt a large piece of stress lifting off me like a fog rolls off the hills. Apparently the quote he had given me included the kill, slaughter, and rendering fees which I had already paid at the start.
So my end total for the cut/wrap/cure? $126. I was right after all, with four dollars to spare. ;)
Just having that bit of unexpected good news has helped me kick this stress funk I've been feeling. My normal, stubborn self is creeping back, and I think once the cow lands tomorrow, I will be able to handle the rest of this week without the possibility of killing myself from too much running. Hehe.
Tomorrow I will patch the wheelbarrow wheel so that I can finish cleaning out the pig pen. I should have that done in a couple hours. After that I will ready the milking stall for tomorrow night's first milking. I can do this. I no longer say, "I think I can, I think I can." Now I say, "I know I will, I know I will."
And it's moments like this where I mentally shout my battle cry:
Ready or not World, here comes a stubborn farm girl who believes in defying the "impossible"!