Somedays are so hurried and harried. I get caught up in myself; wrapped as though to mummify myself with my own self pity, concerns, and thoughts. I get deep, deep down in a mire of jumbled words and emotions. My spirits sputter and cough, trying to regain footing.
Tonight was a fleetingly beautiful moment that brought me up out of my depressed feelings. While walking out to finish barn chores (having already done the milking), I was caught by surprise to find that the air was heavily scented of rain and roses... I have been to 25 different states here in the USA, but I don't recall any of them having that poignant smell of rain... Not like what is here in the Willamette Valley. It is so thick that it feels like a blanket. And the perfume of whatever is blooming during this magical spell of time is suddenly intensified so that your mind can focus on nothing but that moment. You are transfixed in the here and now... The past is gone, the future is yet to come. Live in the now. The now. The now.
Moving effortlessly through barn chores, I unconsciously began singing Josh Ritter's 'Change Of Time'. I love that song... If there is one song that can make me cry, that is it. I listened to it on the flight to Virginia, I listened to it when I left Polyface. I listened to it when I found that I did not make the final cut for the internship, and I sang it now. Now. Now.
Moving into the chorus, I happened to notice Ivy. My sweet, perfect goat. She has no vice, never escapes or misbehaves. She is so perfect that she is often forgotten as I deal with the more *ahem* crafty goats. As I sang the short lines of the chorus, Ivy froze. Her ears stood straight out, like wings of a streamlined jet. Her eyes glazed over, and she took on a dreamy, relaxed look. To her, this was a milking song. She has not been milked in 11 months now, but she remembers her song, and she knew that this sounded like hers. I sang the song over, and over. I sang it for my Ivy girl. And the air smelled of rain and roses.
Between the heartaches, there is still so much beauty in life...