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Friday, November 11, 2011

Irrational

A full moon hung in the sky tonight. Perfectly fitting Walter De La Mare's description as a "Ghostly galleon upon storm tossed waves"...

A glowing orb in the twilight.

A full moon.

A wolf moon.

And outside, after bunking down the animals, with the moon as witness, I played the part of an irrational female.

I cried.

I am a very introverted person by nature. I keep my emotions and thoughts to myself for the most part. On the outside I may look like a happy, cheerful person, but if you were to see the inside... You would find a hurting creature. I almost never cry. My family knows that when Caity cries, something must be seriously wrong.

Beneath that wolf moon, I wept my heart out. 

It was such a collection of burdens that I could contain my tears no more. I cried for my goats that lay beneath a layer of earth now. Chamomile... Capri... Penny... Frodo... Samwise... Nickel... All gone. Their sweet faces no longer sing to me outside. Their perfect, velvety noses are no longer there for me to kiss. No more hugs on their silky necks...

I cried for broken dreams and shattered hopes... 

I cried for a year that turned out nothing like I expected...

I cried for my failures...

For what could have been...

For what never was...

For uncertainties... 

And then I could cry no more.

The wolf moon still hung in the sky, like a Christmas ornament.

I found my voice, and sang Josh Ritter's 'Change of Time'. Right there. Beneath that full moon.

And I felt better for it.

2 comments:

Autumn said...

Sometimes a good cry is refreshing. The earth rains to get rid of bad things, and I think people cry to get rid of sad things, too.

Michelle said...

(((HUGS)))