You Might Be A Farmer If...

Your dog rides in the truck more than your wife.

You have driven off the road while examining your neighbors crops.

You have used a chainsaw to remodel your house.

You have buried a dog and cried like a baby.

You have borrowed gravel from the country road to fill potholes in your driveway.

You always look when a vehicle passes your house, even at night.

You have used something other than paper as toilet paper.

You have animals living in buildings more expensive than your house.

Your family instantly becomes silent when the weather comes on the news.

You don't bother to clean up the dog's mess because it's just fertilizer, and the dog knows to stay out of your way.

You have enough caps to match every shirt you own, but you only wear one so you don't get the others dirty.

You convince your wife that an overnight, out of State, trip for parts is a vacation.

You've never thrown a 5-gallon bucket away.

You have ever had to wash off in the backyard with a garden hose before your wife would let you in the house.

You have used baling twine or barbed wire to attach a license plate.

You can remember the fertilizer rate, seed population, herbicide rate, and yields on a farm you rented 10 years ago, but cannot recall your wife's birthday.

You have used a tractor with a loader as scaffolding for painting or roof repairs.

You have fibbed to a mechanic about how often you greased a piece of equipment.

You've used the same knife to make bull calves into steers and peel apples.

You wave at every vehicle whether you know them or not.

Your wife agree to observe Mother's Day after the beans are planted.

Over 50% of your clothing came from feed or seed dealers.

You give directions to your farm by using landmarks, not road names or numbers.

You refer to farms by who owned them 50 or more years ago.

You've been stopped by the police for a cluttered dashboard.

Family weddings and special events are planned around spring planting and fall harvest.

The rusted out areas of your truck are sealed off with old T-shirts or duct tape.

You can eat an ear of sweet corn with no utensils in under 20 seconds.

You can tell the difference between the smell of a piggery and the smell of a feedlot.

The meaning of true love is that you'll pose for a picture with both him and his favorite tractor.

The meaning of true love is that you'll ride in the tractor with him.

You know you should listen to the weather forecast before picking out an outfit.

You know cow pies aren't made of beef.

Your excuse for getting out of school is that the cows are out.

You can tell it's a farmer working late in the field, know who it is, what they're doing, and not think it's a UFO.

Your nearest neighbor is in the next parish, and you know what a parish it.

When you were little, you got into a fight with another kid on the school bus arguing over the color of tractors.

Your other vehicle is a tractor.

If you were given one million dollars you would keep right on farming. You'd farm differently, but you'd keep farming because that is who and what you are.

I found this funny blurb on a fellow goat raiser's blog and HAD to share. Hope y'all like it.

All credit for this post goes to Gumtree at 'Around the Barbecue'.